I thought of a great a band name if ever the occasion arises. Confiscating Hampsters. Enough said. It's not so much an absurd non-sequitor as it is part of my job description. Yes when I'm not calling my students "dog-babies", tossing smelly toddler socks out of four-story windows or throwing erasers into children's mouths, then in all likliehood I'm depriving preteens of disease-carrying rodents and incurring their hissing Korean wrath. It happened yesterday, when a little girl refused to put her tiny, frantic hamster into her shoulder bag like I asked her too, and instead put it in the pouch of my sweatshirt. Ignoring my abject terror of being pooped upon, I removed the beast from my paunch pocket and placed it back in the panty-like kercheif she was using to transport the vermin-turned-pet.