I am alive.
Subway fires and freaky small-scale terrorism does not deter me from educating Korean youth. It does however, make it harder to get downtown and get plastered, which happens less and less frequently these days. I shouldn't be so glib; I know I am lucky to have avoided what happened last Tuesday, and for that I am grateful. I think about it a lot, and it's hard not to be angry about all the things that went wrong after the molotov cocktail was thrown into the train. Shoddy equipment, poor emergency procedures, and a lot of bizarre and suspicious decision-making by subway workers. Plus there was the odd post-modern twist of trapped subway passengers calling their families from the cell-phones and narrating their final minutes to their loved-ones. It's been a long couple of weeks and I apologize for the limited upkeep of the website. I have never been as busy in America as I am in Korea, and quite frankly I'm exhausted. I have discovered that I have a very difficult time saying no to people, hence I now spend an hour teaching English in a Presbyterrean church on Sunday, among other regrettable obligations which I have acquired. Continuing to operate my modest multimedia empire from the laptop in my bedroom has become increasingly challenging, as has simply sleeping in once in a while. I did however meet some attractive Canadians recently, which is throwing my whole world-view into limbo. I just don't know what to believe anymore. Many thanks to all the concerned e-mails this past week, specifically for those that had headings such as "Are You Alive?" I love that crap. Especially the ones which quickly digressed into other topics like baseball and the weather. A Korean woman told me recently that I have a face like a compact disc.
Sunday, February 23, 2003
Friday, February 14, 2003
Does Anyone Else Get E-mails Like These?
Speaking of laughing: It is oftentimes necessary for one to give their e-mail address rather than one's phone number in Korea, for a variety of reasons, first and foremost being that many scary people (see future discussions concerning the dumpling man, Byung Ho the crazy high-school student, etc.) want to converse with you, regardless of whether they have the capacity to engage in said conversation. Anyhoo, this is not the case with my Tae Kwon Do instructor, Mihyang, I offered her both my e-mail address and phone number in good faith because she is a little bit awesome*. Then I received this message, in reply to my own message detailing my new schedule to her. Now in advance, I should warn you that reading this, let alone trying to make sense of this, made my head hurt. Then, I sent it to my friends in Korea, and it made their heads hurt. So, now I'm giving you the chance of a lifetime to also experience head-hurt. Also, I really have to apologize to Mihyang. I hope you never do a google search involving the keywords "Daegu," "South Korea" "Andrew" and "Pimp" and stumble upon this page. For that matter, I hope that all the people I slander so liberally never find my little web niche, because that would be unfortunate. Here you go, unedited, raw and uncut. Have some Tylenol on hand:
hi andy! New luck it receives plentifully?I go around and here and there i greet and and i am like that, ^^ <- laugh Yesterday, today the body is sick but and too much anything it does not do not to be able.It is like that and even to tae kwon do there is not.. The beautiful face it does. It is like that and the mail it reads just now and and now while replying, Oh!. The fact to be writing a translation program, ¤» ¤» It writes somehow well, that layss ci? Under under, it is grateful in this program true me, it will hangIt receives this help and against tea kwon do it appears it will be able to explain in youThe case which it wants explaining always... Strength and weakness of force Oh!! It grasps the moment when it inflicts a force well and keyss ci..andy truth it is doing well,! Wh! at it sees the case basic flag which is important Oh!! ayn Must be complete in the D basic flag, - folding the joint and kicking, right attitude.. Back back. The wall it catches and it practices plentifully and and percentage it puts out,This program truth it is same the good thing. andy! I use this, thay against an expediency depth explanation it will do as a favor little more to. Recently keyss e ~ Friday day see that much and bitterly the palace! Joyful one day toy route!
Speaking of laughing: It is oftentimes necessary for one to give their e-mail address rather than one's phone number in Korea, for a variety of reasons, first and foremost being that many scary people (see future discussions concerning the dumpling man, Byung Ho the crazy high-school student, etc.) want to converse with you, regardless of whether they have the capacity to engage in said conversation. Anyhoo, this is not the case with my Tae Kwon Do instructor, Mihyang, I offered her both my e-mail address and phone number in good faith because she is a little bit awesome*. Then I received this message, in reply to my own message detailing my new schedule to her. Now in advance, I should warn you that reading this, let alone trying to make sense of this, made my head hurt. Then, I sent it to my friends in Korea, and it made their heads hurt. So, now I'm giving you the chance of a lifetime to also experience head-hurt. Also, I really have to apologize to Mihyang. I hope you never do a google search involving the keywords "Daegu," "South Korea" "Andrew" and "Pimp" and stumble upon this page. For that matter, I hope that all the people I slander so liberally never find my little web niche, because that would be unfortunate. Here you go, unedited, raw and uncut. Have some Tylenol on hand:
hi andy! New luck it receives plentifully?I go around and here and there i greet and and i am like that, ^^ <- laugh Yesterday, today the body is sick but and too much anything it does not do not to be able.It is like that and even to tae kwon do there is not.. The beautiful face it does. It is like that and the mail it reads just now and and now while replying, Oh!. The fact to be writing a translation program, ¤» ¤» It writes somehow well, that layss ci? Under under, it is grateful in this program true me, it will hangIt receives this help and against tea kwon do it appears it will be able to explain in youThe case which it wants explaining always... Strength and weakness of force Oh!! It grasps the moment when it inflicts a force well and keyss ci..andy truth it is doing well,! Wh! at it sees the case basic flag which is important Oh!! ayn Must be complete in the D basic flag, - folding the joint and kicking, right attitude.. Back back. The wall it catches and it practices plentifully and and percentage it puts out,This program truth it is same the good thing. andy! I use this, thay against an expediency depth explanation it will do as a favor little more to. Recently keyss e ~ Friday day see that much and bitterly the palace! Joyful one day toy route!
Today was Chocolate day, the non-union Korean equivalent of Valentine's Day, and you'll be happy to know I raked in some fine chocolate goddness, and also distributed my share. In the words of Chris Rock, "I take care of my kids". I tried unsuccessfully to explain the concept of a "Hallmark Holiday" to the kids (that is a holiday manufactured by corporations in order to push their product down the gullet of the masses), but the children wanted none of my long-winded commentary on the ills of modern society. They simply wanted the delicious chocolate treats to be crammed down their cute Korean gullets, preferably by a bearded American. I was happy to indulge. Unfortunately, I ran out of chocolate by my third class, and resorted to the underhanded maneuver of giving the kids chocolates I had received from other students. I instructed them to eat them immediately, so as to eliminate any possibility of scandal between classes. Damn, I'm a good teacher. Meanwhile, back at the teacher's lounge, one of the Korean teachers was trying to explain the word for nutty in Korean. Unfortunately, her explanation was as follows, "...means it tastes like penis (Peanuts)". Now, normally I'm above laughing at such juvenile miscues, but she kept repeating it over and over, and who am I to deny my basic instincts? A hearty guffaw is good for the best of us.
Saturday, February 08, 2003
More on this country later, just for fun, here's a survey I just filled out...
1. What is the one single thing that you probably think about most in any given day?
The funny way I feel when the coaches at my gym straddle me while I am benchpressing weights, and whether I am sinning against nature.
Actually, it's probably a toss up between obsessing over how much my roommate sucks, updating my web page, my friends and fam, dunking a basketball, remembering to turn the heat off, wondering if my nose ring is poking through my nostril, trying to remember who I should be writing and e-mailing to, and dangling prepositions.
2. What soap in currently in your shower?
"Natural & Beauty" Aloe Soap: E-Mart's finest
3. If you HAD to legally change your name, what would you change it to?
Malik El-Hadj San Fran Andy Shabbaz
Probably Andre, which is what I was going to be named until my Mommy had a change of heart.
4. What is something you HEARD this week that made you laugh?
My sketchy boss with her fucked up grill offering me a pear and asking me if I liked peppers. Also, that incomprehensible e-mail that my Tae Kwon Do teacher sent me, which concluded with this: "Friday day see that much and bitterly the palace! Joyful one day toy route!"
5. What is something you SAW this week that made you laugh?
The latest episode of the Simpsons was mildly entertaining.
My Tae Kwon Do instructors trying to keep a straight face while trying to teach me roundhouse kicks.
6. What is in your CD player right now and what's your favorite track on it?
Alas, my cd player is broken right now, much to my absolute dismay, but lately I have been listening to eric clapton, george harrison, daft punk and mobb deep, and the new roots cd. My two tracks of choice: Drink Away the Pain (Situations) by Mobb Deep, and The Seed 2.0 by The Roots and Cody Chestnutt.
7. What is your ultimate favorite song line?
Anything from Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8r Boy”
Not my ultimate favorite, but right up there:
“Punch that O for operator baby its a love sonnet
I been stylin abstract since loose leafs was the shit
Catch me breathin on planes where the gangstas are outdated
Fuck being hard posdnous is complicated”
-Posdanous (Plug 1) of De La Soul from the song, “In The Woods”
8. What are 3 things you cannot live without?
My TI 82 graphing calculator, my moleskine notebook, and a clean pair of Underoos .
9. The one thing you would NEVER catch me wearing?
A condom. Just kidding. A whale bone corset. (Never again)
10. What did you have for lunch?
A three-egg omelette with sharp cheddar cheese, mushrooms and onions, and a cigarette.
11. What the one show you could watch over and over again and never get tired of?
Webster. I think Mr. Papadopolous was hot, and Emmanuelle Lewis never gets old. Literally.
Mr. Show, The Simpsons
12. When was the last time you had chills/ goosebumps?
When I recall my escapade in the sauna, as well as everytime my roommate answers the door in just his boxers and whenever my roommate tries to speak Korean.
13. What's on your bed right now?
Me, a big plastic bucket, a white notebook from my junior year of college, and a bunch of used tissue paper. Draw your own conclusions.
(I have a cold)
14. Say something nice to the person who sent this to you:
Asma, I didn’t know the Hindis of India burnt incense.
1. What is the one single thing that you probably think about most in any given day?
The funny way I feel when the coaches at my gym straddle me while I am benchpressing weights, and whether I am sinning against nature.
Actually, it's probably a toss up between obsessing over how much my roommate sucks, updating my web page, my friends and fam, dunking a basketball, remembering to turn the heat off, wondering if my nose ring is poking through my nostril, trying to remember who I should be writing and e-mailing to, and dangling prepositions.
2. What soap in currently in your shower?
"Natural & Beauty" Aloe Soap: E-Mart's finest
3. If you HAD to legally change your name, what would you change it to?
Malik El-Hadj San Fran Andy Shabbaz
Probably Andre, which is what I was going to be named until my Mommy had a change of heart.
4. What is something you HEARD this week that made you laugh?
My sketchy boss with her fucked up grill offering me a pear and asking me if I liked peppers. Also, that incomprehensible e-mail that my Tae Kwon Do teacher sent me, which concluded with this: "Friday day see that much and bitterly the palace! Joyful one day toy route!"
5. What is something you SAW this week that made you laugh?
The latest episode of the Simpsons was mildly entertaining.
My Tae Kwon Do instructors trying to keep a straight face while trying to teach me roundhouse kicks.
6. What is in your CD player right now and what's your favorite track on it?
Alas, my cd player is broken right now, much to my absolute dismay, but lately I have been listening to eric clapton, george harrison, daft punk and mobb deep, and the new roots cd. My two tracks of choice: Drink Away the Pain (Situations) by Mobb Deep, and The Seed 2.0 by The Roots and Cody Chestnutt.
7. What is your ultimate favorite song line?
Anything from Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8r Boy”
Not my ultimate favorite, but right up there:
“Punch that O for operator baby its a love sonnet
I been stylin abstract since loose leafs was the shit
Catch me breathin on planes where the gangstas are outdated
Fuck being hard posdnous is complicated”
-Posdanous (Plug 1) of De La Soul from the song, “In The Woods”
8. What are 3 things you cannot live without?
My TI 82 graphing calculator, my moleskine notebook, and a clean pair of Underoos .
9. The one thing you would NEVER catch me wearing?
A condom. Just kidding. A whale bone corset. (Never again)
10. What did you have for lunch?
A three-egg omelette with sharp cheddar cheese, mushrooms and onions, and a cigarette.
11. What the one show you could watch over and over again and never get tired of?
Webster. I think Mr. Papadopolous was hot, and Emmanuelle Lewis never gets old. Literally.
Mr. Show, The Simpsons
12. When was the last time you had chills/ goosebumps?
When I recall my escapade in the sauna, as well as everytime my roommate answers the door in just his boxers and whenever my roommate tries to speak Korean.
13. What's on your bed right now?
Me, a big plastic bucket, a white notebook from my junior year of college, and a bunch of used tissue paper. Draw your own conclusions.
(I have a cold)
14. Say something nice to the person who sent this to you:
Asma, I didn’t know the Hindis of India burnt incense.
Tuesday, February 04, 2003
Ants In The Pants: A Cream Video
The title of the cherry red video cassette Andrew found in the VCR while cleaning up the living room.
Woe to my roommate, and woe (by extension) to Canada.
On the cover, there were cartoonish ants emerging from the respective undergarments of a man and a woman, looking at each other as if to say, "What are we doing in this underwear when we could be making sweet ant love?"
Seriously, this web log can't just be Flaphead-bashing and insect whoopie, though there is a wealth of material within those fields. What about Korea?
The title of the cherry red video cassette Andrew found in the VCR while cleaning up the living room.
Woe to my roommate, and woe (by extension) to Canada.
On the cover, there were cartoonish ants emerging from the respective undergarments of a man and a woman, looking at each other as if to say, "What are we doing in this underwear when we could be making sweet ant love?"
Seriously, this web log can't just be Flaphead-bashing and insect whoopie, though there is a wealth of material within those fields. What about Korea?
Saturday, February 01, 2003
Nomenclature
What's with the name of the site?
Tis true, I find myself questioning the raw sex appeal of this web address from time to time. Let me explain how it came to be, or rather why I cannot change it. Initially, I wanted to include some reference to San Francisco within the address because of my strong affinity and great appreciation for my hometown's many splendors. I am consistently disappointed and oftentimes disgusted with the silly nicknames that San Francisco has somehow acquired (Frisco, San Fran, Homo Heaven etc). As Herb Caen and numerous others have pointed out, a native San Franciscan would never utter such blarney. Frankly, the very presence of these inane abbreviations reeks of Canadianism. (Especially 'Homo Heaven', that's what the say in the homophobic provinces, let's say Saskatchewan). Anyway, during my final few weeks in Homo Heaven, a couple of my friends casually referred to The City as the "Sco". Very nice, I thought. It eliminates the fluff and sheer stupidity of the other labels, and effectively shortens the name without losing any punch (or cachet). Plus, its got street credibility, and you can't put a price on that. Hence, the first syllable. 'Rep' is short for representative or representation or republican or report or repaint. In this case I mean everyone of those things... except the last three. Essentially, the premise was that I was somehow "representing" (a frequently used urban cliché, in the same vein as 'keeping it real' and 'saving the proverbial drama for your proverbial mama') San Francisco not only in my writings and postings but also in my travels, which have brought me far from the Sco, and left me with a quiet nostalgia and longing for home as well as intense pride for my city. So there you have it. Scorep. Not very pretty, is it? ScoReppin would be better. Please don't take that name, it's my intellectual property or something. Anyway, if I knew how, I would change the name.
What's with the name of the site?
Tis true, I find myself questioning the raw sex appeal of this web address from time to time. Let me explain how it came to be, or rather why I cannot change it. Initially, I wanted to include some reference to San Francisco within the address because of my strong affinity and great appreciation for my hometown's many splendors. I am consistently disappointed and oftentimes disgusted with the silly nicknames that San Francisco has somehow acquired (Frisco, San Fran, Homo Heaven etc). As Herb Caen and numerous others have pointed out, a native San Franciscan would never utter such blarney. Frankly, the very presence of these inane abbreviations reeks of Canadianism. (Especially 'Homo Heaven', that's what the say in the homophobic provinces, let's say Saskatchewan). Anyway, during my final few weeks in Homo Heaven, a couple of my friends casually referred to The City as the "Sco". Very nice, I thought. It eliminates the fluff and sheer stupidity of the other labels, and effectively shortens the name without losing any punch (or cachet). Plus, its got street credibility, and you can't put a price on that. Hence, the first syllable. 'Rep' is short for representative or representation or republican or report or repaint. In this case I mean everyone of those things... except the last three. Essentially, the premise was that I was somehow "representing" (a frequently used urban cliché, in the same vein as 'keeping it real' and 'saving the proverbial drama for your proverbial mama') San Francisco not only in my writings and postings but also in my travels, which have brought me far from the Sco, and left me with a quiet nostalgia and longing for home as well as intense pride for my city. So there you have it. Scorep. Not very pretty, is it? ScoReppin would be better. Please don't take that name, it's my intellectual property or something. Anyway, if I knew how, I would change the name.
Day 1 of the web log actually marks the third month anniversary of my inexplicable stint in South Korea, one of the many sources of inspiration for creating this site. Eventually I hope to include an archive of photos, links to some of my more cogent ramblings, and possibly some blinking lights on the page (epileptics beware), and this will happen just as soon as I learn how this might be accomplished. Until then, I suppose you could if you want to encourage, chastise or advise me in anyway. Is it wise to give out that info? Who knows? I'm new at this. Notice that my address is not a link, merely bold text (in every sense of the term)--something I hope to remedy in the future. It just occured to me that people probably don't want to hear about my web-programming foibles, so I will put an end to that: I'm just trying to lay the foundation for a beautiful thing, people, be patient. I hope that this page might serve as a means to inform my loved ones and well-wishers of my misadventures in lieu of lengthy and confusing mass e-mails. Instead, they can read lengthy and confusing postings at their leisure. Also, this page provides the ideal forum for me to vent my bitter dissapointment in the San Francisco Giants for their stunning collapse in games 6 & 7 of the 2002 World Series. If I had a web-cam, you would now be witnessing a lot of fist-shaking and teeth-gnashing. Why? Because it still hurts. It simply still hurts. Anyway, I don't have a web-cam, and this is probably for the best.
Hello! This is my first amateurish attempt to launch my own web log/ website. The public outcry for such a website has been frankly overwhelming (and by overwhelming, I of course mean non-existent). Despite this, I have always wanted to dabble in the web-game, after conquering such mundane arenas as the rap game and the crack game, and so I give you the first incarnation of http://scorep.blogspot.com. I anticipate a huge number of bugs in the early going, as I am basically following the instructions of the blogger website, but with time, effort and enough positive feedback, I am confident that I can turn this website into one of the millions of bizarre, anonymous and mildly entertaining points of interest on the interweb. I should say that I am neither computer geek nor guru, but merely a connoisseur, (nay, an afficionado), of amusing web crap. My experience is limited, but not my imagination. So, with little regard for spelling and grammatical errors, I hereby declare this website to be open for perusal.
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